Does the endless stream of messages and the thought of replying to unopened texts give you anxiety? Can the group chat be so overwhelming that you want to throw your phone out the window? Texting anxiety is a real thing, and more common than you’d think.

In the last 25 years, texting has permanently changed the way we communicate. And many would argue, not for the better. While promising feelings of closeness and connection, social media and messaging apps can often do the opposite. Many find themselves tired because of the constant notifications(通知), multiple conversations, and numerous exchanges. The result? Delayed responses, or forgetting to reply to a message entirely.

People in 2022 checks their phone 262 times a day, up from a daily average of 80 in 2016. Overwhelmed, many end up consciously(有意识地) or unconsciously stopping responding to loved ones and friends. Unfortunately, not everyone will be understanding. On average, each person will have 47 unread text messages and 1,602 unopened emails. Yet the average phone screen time is more than ever before, at 4.2 hours per day.

Leah Aguirre, a psychotherapist explains that text conversations are usually a source of anxiety as they come with a lot of uncertainty. “We can’t predict how someone will respond, if they will respond, or how quickly they will respond. We can’t control other people’s actions or behaviour or how they think and interpret things, and for people that are already prone to anxiety this can be hard to cope with.”

Establishing a texting schedule and/or guidelines with people you interact with frequently is one way of restraining some of the stress. Aguirre suggests limiting the amount of time you are on your phone also helps with the anxiety. “By eliminating or reducing how much contact you have with the source of anxiety, you’ll feel some relief,” she says.“You can also tell yourself that you are okay and that you have no control over another person’s response or behaviour. Remind yourself that this is just a phone or a text message and that you are okay and will be okay.”

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