If your friend has some very bad news - what's the best way for you to react? Let's imagine that his or her marriage breaks down… or maybe a relative dies. What would you say? Now let’s ask my colleague Nuala O'Sullivan about how she reacted to her friend's bad news:
Well, one Sunday morning, my friend came round to visit me, we were just having a cup of coffee and then she said 'My husband's left me'. It was really shocking. I think I just must have said 'Oh my god' or 'that's awful' or…, something like that. But, rather than remembering what I said, I do remember going across the room to where she was and just giving her a huge hug… and I think that's the thing most people would do in that situation.
So we say 'Oh my god' or 'That's awful' or 'That's terrible' or…
We don't say 'That's a pity' or 'That's too bad' when someone has really bad news.
But, words aren't everything. I do remember going across the room to where she was and just giving her a huge hug.
Very often, we hear about someone's bad news from someone else. In this situation, it's perhaps better to go to your friend and offer help, than wait for your friend to come to you.
I think when people are going through a hard time, one of the key things that we all do is we're just there to listen. And we say to them 'Any time you want to talk, just come round or just give me a phone call', because I think when people are sad, that's the one thing that actually really does help - is being able to talk about it.
There's a practical way, you say things like 'If there's anything I can do just let me know'… and it could be something simple like going for shopping, or it could be babysitting or, you know, or listening, or any of those things.
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