If there was one thing you could make parents understand about kids, what would it be? That is one of the questions TFK and KidsHealth.org recently asked in an anonymous(匿名的) survey conducted online. More than 8,000 kids answered. “We just want to spend time with you,” said a 12-year-old. “At 13, you can’t treat me like I’m 6,” another kid said. An 11-year-old wrote, “Being a kid is a lot harder than it looks.” The kids who took our survey made it clear that they want to feel close to the important people in their life—their mom, dad and other caring adults. But their answers also show that it is not always easy to deal with these close relationships.
Many kids—two out of three—said they get along pretty well or very well with their parents. About four out of five kids told us that they have fun with their parents. But that doesn’t mean they never disagree. In fact, most kids reported arguing with their parents, at least sometimes. “It’s absolutely normal to disagree and argue,” says D’Arcy Lyness, a child psychologist. “But it’s also important to learn how to do so respectfully.” About half of the kids said they are doing that. When they disagree with their parents, they say they discuss issues calmly.
But two out of five kids said arguments tend to involve yelling(喊叫) at each other. Lyness points out that shouting never helps. “Speak up, and let your parents know your ideas and your opinions,” she advises. “But be patient. Don’t use a raised, angry voice.”
Kids made it clear that they would rather avoid conflict altogether. Not surprisingly, three out of four kids admitted to lying at times. Many said they lie to avoid getting in trouble or disappointing their parents. According to Lyness, lying isn’t just wrong. It can actually get negative results. Telling the truth builds trust. “When parents can trust you, they are more likely to give you more freedom and more privileges,” she says.
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